Friday, August 31, 2007
today was kinda awesomee ((:
day started out okay, as usual. just that this councillor chased me away while i was waiting for raihan and the cake >:(
then had mass dance. it was funneh but cuteeeeeee!
the interhouse cheer was not bad too, siti must be excited getting to see her 3-in-1 package. loll. bronte won in the end but still, keller still rocks ((: haha siti must hate me so much cause both mona and her rangi is in
KELLER!hahah then next was class interaction and FRUITYFRUITS. hah. we then 'surprised' cikgu with our cake and at first, she REFUSED to believe we made it ourselves! >:( (or more like, aisyah, rab and raihan lol) but it was sweet and the cake was not bad eh! ;p concert afterwards, felt we totally screwed it up and we were practically shouting the moment we left the hall. andandand! mona who's diagonally across me kept observing me that she even noticed i kept laughing OMG i want die :O (she must be thinking im smiling cause i saw her :/) plus this annoying bunch of 4s3 girls who made me end up doing funny faces on stage. omgomg. haha but still, its a job well done! ((: thanks to all! SU, AQILAH, ZOEY, LIYANA, RAIHAN, HAZWANI, ALIFFAH, AMIRA, HANNA, SITI, NAZEERA, N2, AISAH AND DIANA!! (and of course ME! hehe) i think it was really a very commendable effort that we did it in like less than 2 weeks plus its ORIGINAL andddd! WE DID IT (: (though not very good eh. hah)
after school was lunch and it was gooood (:
and guess who i saw when we were at lido! -drum rolls- hanizah and farrah! hahah! but i was like so damn unglam at that moment, look like i just came back from a camp :/ (i lost me skirt!!) so i didnt come up to them to say HI! (:
i went back home after that cause i was damn tired. and there's this nj chi guy (quite cute la LOL!) who's sitting beside me and i think we fell asleep at the same time. and when i woke up, he woke up also. and i realised there's this aunty staring at us and she smiled at us :///
Negeri Sembilan tmr! ;D im excited yay! (:
haha now im feeling it. im gonna get presents there ;p
-Pink&Black
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7:02 AM
Thursday, August 30, 2007
how shall i describe today? okay i dont know. i just know that i feel so...screwed. yes, terribly horrible life is bothering me again.
and i was so convinced that you dont mean as much to me as you used to. but i was wrong, i was so wrong.
someone tell me why i could feel my heart wrenching when i saw those words. someone tell me why im not doing anything now.
im sorry. and now the tears are forming in my eyes. as the truth hit me hard. cause i just couldnt do anything right now, i dont even know how to comfort you now. and now it feels like what i've gone through is nothing compared to what you went through. im sorry i couldnt do anything to change things, im sorry that fate does not lie in my hands.
and if you still havent realised, this goes to show how much i care for you and i'll have to face it, you still mean alot to me <333
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6:41 AM
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
ok so im supp to blog bout today (but i got carried away)
today was greattttttt ;D
me and aqilah planned to come late and we did! haha just that amira was late too (as usual) so we went to school tgt, taking our own sweet time. reached redhill at 7.35 and we walked slowly by the back way
but just as we were around 50m away from the gate we saw this whole bunch of councillors and mr samat! (it was after make up mass run :/)
so we hid behind the tree, then behind the bushes. loll. then we ran back to the back busstop and amira got left behind cause her reaction's too slow. hahah! then we walked through the small alley among the condos and decided to go by the back way agn UNTILLLLL we saw h.g. and the np ppl at the basketball court ://
so we walked all the way back to the front gate and aqilah must thank me for her purple nametag! ;D
then me and aqilah pretended to be all sick and stuff as we INNOCENTLY walked to the guard. and while walking back to class like 1/2 of the 2g2 ppl were staring at us ://
so morning was damn eventful ((: and nicee thanks aqilah! ;DD oooh amira too (:
(we reached school at 8.06 btw!)
then had hist mass lecture. and obviously i had long planned not to listen cause its just some lousy annoying teacher >:( so i did some newspaper articles and mly. was kinda productive and im glad ((: i was kinda attentive for physics but slept during ss :/ cause tham is boring no offence, and plus i had gone through the content in the morning alr. i miss claudia ting's lessons. and for once, i dont feel guilty sleeping. (raihan and su counted, only 7 ppl were paying attention LOL)
lit was ok but im so happyyyy i passed (: and we did essay and so proud of myself, for once, i wrote 2 whole pages long. 'punished' during mly but its okay, im a gooooood girl ;D bio was kinda neat too. then after sch had full dress rehearsal and i swear its the bestttttttttt ;) so happy cause we came up the whole thing ourselves. though its not up to standard, its so freakin enjoyable i get so happy and hyper thinking bout it (((:
after sch (after full dress rehearsal), went to aisyah's house!! THEY baked the cake lol. it was a nice ending to the day. with the sing-a-longs, bubble teas, camwhoring and just being crazyyyyy ((: reached home very late and explains why im still here now. ): ahh. but still, its sucha good day to not be remembered (((:
-
today proved to be much better than the few days before.
i was much comforted after talking to my mum. maybe she understands after all. i know she wants me to be the best i can be and proved everyone wrong
(esp my aunty!!). that girls from girls' schools are not bimbos, not all of them are crooked and that its not gooood. i swear crescent is the best and has given me most of my precious memories. though i know Crescent is Crazy, i still love it and i cant imagine myself leaving crescent, leaving everything behind. but nevertheless, i have promised myself to work harder to really pull my grades up.
i feel so motivated now.i realised my results are not as bad i had thought it was. just that i deproved in subjs i have been doing well/okay in but thank god i did much better for my sciences this time (: though my l1r5's the same as mids, i guess i feel disappointed cause im supp to really improve since cts are much easier. SIGHSSS.
i hate looking at my schedule for the rest of the year. it'll be so damnit packed (including this week) and i think i can go insane. gahh
i wanna be happy and carefree once agn ):
-Pink&Black
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6:42 AM
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
oh my how can i forget!
HAPPY 15TH SITI! and DIANA TOO! (and manymany other ppl cause many ppl have the same bday today)
haha i love you siti! ;D and dianaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ((:
APPLES!
9:55 AM
im feeling like a plain invisible girl today. like really. dont ask me why, its just another one of those im-feeling-invisible kinda days. not that anybody's ignoring me or anth. hah.
day started out okay, though today felt like it passed muchmuch faster than ever before. maybe cause i really paid attention today?
i was looking through my mummy's stuff today and guess what i found -drumroll- a dark red glittery
nail polish.unused. haha im so eggggcited and its mineeeee now ;D plus there's so many make up stuff i swear im gonna open up a blog to sell them all. HEHE.AND I THINK IM SETTING UP A NEW BLOG TO SELL THINGSSS IF INTERESTED PLEASE COME JOIN! ;Dthink im mainly selling girly stuff la (duhh) like make-up, bags, clothes(?) etc"sometimes when i call you just to say nothing at all,It really means that i just really need you and need t hear yr voice just t feel a little safer.(and sometimes i purposely think up reasons for me t be able t call you)"got that from someone's blog and i think i've finally found the answer (no, nothing to do with that person. its.my.life.)where were you when im feeling scared, tired and cold?-Pink&Black
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5:14 AM
Monday, August 27, 2007
today was definitely a day full of fixed emotions yupp yupp.
lets see, day started with amath, i can rmb everything that he taught us now, i can even tell you by heart but...i dont understand it ://
chem, pe, recess. nothing interesting bout that
and i tried to be strong, i didnt wanna break down in front of her, it just shows the weak side of me.hist test was shitzz. and i couldnt help breaking down again during el, i was so distracted man.i so need better self-control.
but i was very much cheered up during lunch cause i got my eggtart and cream puffs (: ok i know damn stupid la, but just look at my day, plus i've been wanting to eat that over the weekends.
then bio i got happier cause im one of those REALLY lucky few who passed. i just passed yo ((: (but my mum still has to see teacher ): )
had jk meeting which was...HAHAH. angklung afterwards but its more like talking sessions. and i really really love playing with bubbles <333
ljs afterwards and it was one of the best thing that happened today <3 one reason cause i finallyyyyyy got my hershey's chocolate cream pie after waiting for so longggggg until i recover (:
im full of mixed emotions now. i just feel like crying and laughing at the same time.
-Pink&Black
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6:23 AM
Saturday, August 25, 2007
and so i spent 5 whole mins staring at this small insect crawling inside my tablet screen. (im amazed. loll)
lets talk bout yest since im only rotting at home today.
yest started out okay though mass run had never been a good thing.
got back chem after that and i was so freakin disappointed. okay maybe im being too much cause its good enough i got through with exactly an A but what the heck its only cts and im SUPPOSED to do well for this or else my eoy will be...crap. the mood that day just wasnt right. emath and amath results are obviously like shitttzzz. but amath felt better cause me, nat and nad were laughing at how horrible our marks are. like we need to combine all our marks tgt to get a C5 okay, loll C5 mind you!
lit drama next weeeeek oh mannnn. no cme but got back physics. i didnt do very well though, but im still happy cause i passed (: and FINALLY i got a B3 for my combined sci ;D (okay not good, but still! can pull my other horrible subjs up)
after sch was lido again without oh-so-guai liy who went for REAP.
it was quite nice lar. train ride home was super nice for once cause we get to sit all the way from orchard till cck and we all slept peacefully ((:
though i was awakened by a msg at sembawang ;pp
im a happy happy kid now and i shall forget bout my results for now. i shall buck up, i swearrrrr. i cant wait for monday ;p YAY YAY!!
-Pink&Black
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12:07 AM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
this feeling; its so hard to describe
today was so..*stares at screen* man, life is sucha vicious cycle, its so horrid.
today was bad. cause i barely got back 1/4 of my papers yet i know im gonna do badly. deep inside im terribly upset, very frustrated and of course disappointed but im more upset that i dont know how to let it out or show it, its not cause it doesnt matter to me. it does. a lot.
thats sec3 life for you. you study hard, you fail. you study hardER, you get through with just a pass. you study as hard as you can, but the marks can never feel satisfying enough. maybe this time i fall under the first category. or maybe im just too stumped that my reaction is just...blank.
i feel like giving up right now, but everybody else feels the same way too. yes i must pull through this. A1s for eoy, here i comeeeee! (:
everyone still thinks my voice's sexy. mr tan was damnit shocked when i sort of shouted behind him cause i wanted to agrue bout the summary point (in the end we got it! LOL) and he was like..i dunno. very shocked. hahah the funniest reaction so far. heheh no more sweet-high-shrilled voice from now on ;p
im hoping for the best IN MY LIFE now. i miss last year, really. i miss the secfours. i reallyreally miss hanizah. haha okay, farrah, qinya, sam, mas, angklung snrs etcetc.. you get my point. hah. things are so different now, i cant exactly point out what. oh myyyyy i havent seen hanizahhh for ages (for like 7 freakin months?!) haha. my favourite-st eyecandy for life <3 loll!
APPLES!
5:58 AM
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
i think today's just now. maybe cause we ct was just over yest (and eoy's in like a month's time?) plus we didnt get back any papers today.
today was just fine just that i dont understand how come i was so sleepyyyyy. day was kinda stale though cause nth much happened. dikir/audition after sch, it was kinda awesome ;)
more and more ppl keep commenting on how sexy my voice is ;p
haha im suddenly so used to this new voice of mine i forgot how i sound like just a week ago.
"amiraaa!" LOLL
i feel like i wanna be a little girl once again. i wanna be carefree, i wanna live the days when not even a single day is considered as boring to me, i wanna live happy, i wanna live not having to worry bout anth, i wanna be smart and having no difficulties in my studies at all, i wanna live to play and enjoy life, i wanna be super skinny as how i was back then, i wanna be pretty,
i just want that oh-so-perfect life of mine back.but maybe im not so sure bout that after all. cause there's many things that i cant imagine not being back then.
i've learnt how to
really appreciate friendship and not like back then when friends are there just to play and have fun with.
i've learnt to open up muchmuch more and not be so shy i cant even talk to my cousins.
i've learnt how sweet it is when you've worked hard for a test/exam and you do well for it, not like back then when i could get good grades effortlessly and it doesnt matter at all.
i've learnt how to trust more and more ppl in my life.
i've learnt that life is never perfect, its just that i was so young and carefree back then that i was too blind to see it.
well, thats the top few that i can think of.
and im praying hard that i would
do well at least get a C for all subjs.
thanks, you're sweet, i swear.-Pink&Black
APPLES!
4:46 AM
Monday, August 20, 2007
its a thing called love <3
and today i realised how i really love s3. and i really mean it. i have such lovable/cute/retarded classmates around me that gives me the sense of comfort and brighten up my day. (looks at HQ)
of course the awesome 4 superheroes will be top in the list (:
SlengerSiti, RetardedRaihan, Auntie(LOL)Amira, LoserLiy (((:
there's amanda who's so outgoing and yakyakyak non stop bout everything under the sun, you'll nvr get bored around her. LOL. silly teddy beatrice who says silly stuff. heh.
xinshyan's damncute i swear. haha. we were both looking at the noticeboard, at the ct timetable for the day. she was so frustrated/annoyed that there's so many heavy subjs on that day that she started banging the board with her fists. AND dust came flying down from the top of the noticeboard down on her LOL (:
awesome/quiet partner, nadiah (: haha i know we dont talk much in class but it really makes a diff sittin beside her. since i hardly know her back then, now i know better wat kinda person she is, sweettttttt and lovelyyyy (((:
N2, mandy, rachel! hahah studying bio tgt with them was really more enjoyable then it usually would be. and those 2hrs doesnt feel like it, at all (:
not forgetting every single one of them who always give me a laugh or two here and there. i tell you, the feeling's lovely (:
anddddddd of course to everyone who asked me to take care, get well soon. thanks (:
ok so i was not feeling very well, i still had flu, sore throat and baddd cough. and everybody was shocked at my voice! hahah.some commented that its sexy ;D. SOMEONE said that i sounded like a gay :/ ! a few said i sound totally like a guy, machomacho ;p
while some just said that my voice's totally diff they wouldnt recognise who i am if i call them up (LOLL)
but papers today were just fine. though i know i screwed them up big time. but hey, i know i've put in the effort (though not enough) and that i've given the papers my best shot. so yea.
if only everyday will be a better day, i can make things right again.i shall fly to the stars just for you, i shall paint rainbows in every part of the world. if only things were so simple in life.
APPLES!
5:58 AM
Sunday, August 19, 2007
so now its alr four. FOUR. and her flight's at 3.45. i feel like i owe her a bunch. now im alr missing her <3
i almost give up studying. cant study bio cause i have no voice to say things out loud for me to memorise. and amath, i dont know how to do like half of the sums. im doomed, tell me. nothing for me to look forward to in life. ahh life's so stale ):
at least im looking forward to getting b&j's and mrs field's when i recover ((:
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12:52 AM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
today was so...dry. like really. i was supp to go to sch for the cluster thing and for amath (veryvery impt yknow) but mum didnt allow cause i was in suchaaaa bad state ): so its like i keep waking up cause of msgs and my sis :/ so in the end i finally dragged myself out of bed at 12! then went to the doctor and he cheated me of my money >;( i spent like less than 5 mins inside and he gave me so many med and in the end charged my 46 ): so i went home, ate med and studied a little. i felt sleepy and...i slept again. and i woke up at SEVEN (even though i've been woken up at 5.30 and slept back agn LOL) only to realise that my med cause drowsiness ):
im so dead for amath. and bio. SOS please, someone come and rescue meeeeeeeee ):
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6:09 AM
Friday, August 17, 2007
today.is.bad.
-stares at title-
today is like REALLY bad. so ok, went to sch like norm and i wasnt exactly in th best of health. took chem which was okay i guess. and then recess was AWESOME (: afters, had hist paper. which was not bad too. but weather got colder and my condition got worse. lit paper was okay too. i was happily writing down my points when suddenly i saw a drip of blood so i was like, huh? until it took me long enough to realise my nose was bleedingggggggg. and hell, i took so long raising my hand to attract cikgu's attention to ask for more tissue and while cleaning up and stuff, i alr took up 5 freakin mins. shit ): anyways, my papers are like blood stained i hope the marker wont get shocked, maybe just pity me and decide to give me more marks ;p so then i started losing my voice like shit. after sch, went cityhall to get donuts, since its Donut Day. HAPPY DONUT DAY FELLOW RENAME-RS! ;D so then we queued for 2 freaking hours. :/ but the experience was funnnnn all in all though i started being tired and cranky. i had to go home early but the time was well-spent after all <3>
oh man i figured the reason i lost my voice must be because of the junk food i consumed just now. esp the superduper sweet brownie ): (haha okay, i know im slow) but i hope i get better and geared up for next week's paper. haha omg i sound like a loserrrrrrr.
ooh and raihan said that just now when my sore throat was bad, she said that my voice's HUSKY and SEXY. ;p haha sorry raihan, no more sexy voice for you, only sign languages for the next few days okay (:
OH i had to 'shout' so much just now cause my voice was so soft that i figured it must be another reason why i lost my voice now!! LIY!
haha okay i better go off now, i want sleep (:
thanks dear, it made my day, really <3
(i hope its not only cause of your conscience though)
im feeling happy and satisfied now, im glad ((:
-Pink&Black
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5:29 AM
Thursday, August 16, 2007
i shall not comment bout the papers today. but definitely glad im done with 4 papers (okay, if you count csp in). and the word pasrah is still stuck in my head till now !! hahah. tmr's chem, hist and lit. yay im glad cause at least now i feel that im more knowledgable, though i cant confirm a pass (but pray hard i do well!!). i think i drink too much coffee and milo im like a bit too awake now, when everyone's gonna sleep :/ i hope my brain doesnt give way during tmr's papers. im having a bad sore throat and horrible flu today. such bad luck to get it like now ): and now its getting worse, my voice's so horrible when i speak. my ears feels so blocked.
ON A BRIGHTER SIDE,
tmr's Donut Day!! yayyyyy so cant wait we shall order a dozen donuts ((:
im suddenly motivated to study now, so off i go! ;D
thrilled when i heard that (:and so i finished the whole box of tissue today. wow :/ argh its killing me.
but must persevere.and i dunno why but for every message that you send to me, it just makes me more and more upset and eventually, i will always end up crying. call me a crybaby. but i cant help it. cause you dont know how much you mean to me <3>
APPLES!
7:41 AM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
and so i was looking through your blog, from your first to the latest one (out of boredom. and not that many anyway, since you hardly update). and i realised how distant we are now. shit. and all the while i was reading, i realised its like, i dont know you at all. its surprising how things change so fast. so see you when we're 60 <3
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9:22 AM
im not here for a long post. i just wana complain to the whole world that im having a reallyreally bad sore throat now its such a distraction. TSK. and there's not a single freakin medicine/lozenges in my house for this im annoyedddddd. common tests start tmr SHIT i feel so damnit unprepared ):
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5:31 AM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
someone influenced me to be less.... vulgar? but now, it doesnt really matter. cos its near over. i see that someone online. i've got that huge urge to double click on the contact. when i do, i'll ask myself. should i say hi? i do, sometimes. but somehow, i've gotten used to the reply. the same old cold reply.
thats from rachel's blog. i cant believe im experiencing the same thing too. omgg i dunno wat to do with my life now :/
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7:35 AM
promise me you'll be back again <3
.JPG)
so this whole post is dedicated to my really beloved one and only <3
RACHEL LEE JIA
i swear you're the best. i cant believe it when i got to know yest night that you're leaving THIS SUNDAY. i dunno, its just too sudden for me, it makes me cry like a baby ): im sorry. im sorry i dont talk to you often nowadays or write to you that often. im sorryyy. no, i've not forgotten you, really. its just that my life's totally different now. once in a while i would still open all your previous letters and read them to myself. some made me feel sad, some gave me a good laugh. thanks for the wonderful memories <3>leaving. its tuesday today and tmr will be wednesday. but you wont be in school cause you'll still be having e-learning. i hate you. why did you have to go. YOU REALLY MEAN ALOT TO ME, YOU REALLY DO. i wanna spend the next four days talking to you 24/7. i wanna talk to you bout everything under the sun. i wanna catch up with each other. i wanna go out for one last time with you. but wishful thinking. im gonna miss you like hell. and when i see the 2g1 ppl around school, its just going to feel so wrong without you. i've got so much left to say, but so little time. i dont care, if you visit Singapore (mustttttt hor this end of year!) we must go out tgt ((: ily to bits and pieces!
and i dunno if i should go this sunday. it sucks, it sucks that you have to go. but i know it'll suck more to see you leave right in front of my eyes. i dunno if i can take it. if only we could turn back time and replay things over again.
i shall see.
(p.s. tell your sis i'll miss her too )): )
RACHEL LEE, you must come online OFTEN and we must write letters andand emails andandand rmb the photos! AND pls update your blog frequently okay when you're there. (: have fun there! and DONT FORGET MEEEEE!
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6:43 AM
Monday, August 13, 2007
i felt like dying on my way to school today. firstly, it was my super terrible headache and my throat feels like i've just stuffed down a whole packet of chilli down. the train was more crowded than usual (i was slightly earlier (: ) butttttttt i had a damn horrible terrible stomachache too. )): i hate breaking out in cold sweat all the time in the morn ))):
and the day was okay. though me head felt like its going to be detached from my body any moment. but pe was kinda nice. the day went on...in a blur. i can hardly rmb wat we did today, except for the fact that chem retest was the same exact paper ://
after school was studying session with amira, raihan and aqilah <333
it was kinda productive, though i gave up at the end cause i cant stand my headache and i started drawing out my study plan (((:
mona got a c5 for her mt o level. i feel very saddddddd for her. like duh la. ): buttttttt. at least she's sitting for it agn end of year and we're gonna take it tgt, the same paper ;D hahah i feel so mean/bad.
i wanna sleep early today. latest by 12 i swear. me poor poor head ):
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7:38 AM
Sunday, August 12, 2007
and finally i've picked up the courage
finally i've gotten the right words to say
finally im gonna open up, face it, the truth.
but ugly duckling just has to spoil it all ://
ahhhhhh someone shoot me.
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8:13 AM
and so today was...very random. like really. i did random things, which i just feel like doing. like today's supposed to be mugging day. and i just studied for any subj which i feel like it. and i slept, go on the comp, slacked alot (OMG). even the weather's very random :/ even the things i say are random (according to manymanymany ppl today)
i dont understand why guys are so fussy, petty and insecure >:(
(OR MAYBE THEY'RE GIRLS DEEP INSIDE. LOLL)
25th coming soon yay yay ((: im eggggggcitedd!
common test next week oh no! D:
and chem test tmr SHIT i need to get more than a just pass this time, really. hah.
donut day next friiii weeeeeeeeeee~ been so long since we last had one (:
and mugging day at B&J's with dearest Aqilah next sat im egggggcitedd for that too! andandand finallyyyyyyyy watching movie after ct! ):/(: ??
im in a shoot-me-down kinda mood now. i have so muchhhhhhhh mugging to do (like DUHH) plus manymany hmwk.
1.) MLY. dont even talk bout it, nvr ending ://
2.) el essay (at least i started on the first paragraph (: )
3.) amath hmwk, nvr ending too ):
but my biggest worries are my ct. i really need to do well for this one, or else my eoy will be like...
ok i better stop here now tatata ((:
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7:57 AM
Saturday, August 11, 2007
my eyes are stinging so bad now. it feels as though someone had just swiped a handful of chilli paste on my eyes. i didnt know crying hurts so too much. but it doesnt make a difference anyway.
'I hate school, I hate home.
the world's a fuck.
and I've decided to give up on everything since I've been given up on.
I hate being the best I can be, so called bringing out the good in me
only to have fucks here and there.
it's been so hard trying to not do anything disappointing
But so what.
I rather be the worst I can be and ruin myself,before I let anything else ruin me.
I want to bleed and hurt so bad
So that when anything else happens i won't give a fuck.
I want to smoke and drink and kill myself
So that I won't have to face those fucks'
thats not written by me, ripped off from mona's blog.
but it explains everything bout me, i guess
just that i dont really hate school. i love my friends and they are the reason why i can pull through for so long.
maybe life's meant to be. i still believe there's always a purpose in life. but im still searching for it in vain.
being with aqilah today was comforting. the best thing that ever happened in the past few days? i wish i could escape from reality like that all the time. thanks for letting me forget my sorrow for that period of time <3
lifehouse's blind was playing at B&J's just now when me and aqilahh were there. and now im listening to it, it suddenly holds so much meaning to me. and yessss aqilah, thanks for the company too ((: B&J's with you was love! we shall go there studyy next sat okay! (alah, just share one small cup okay LOL. inside joke) and we shall people watch again and be happyhappy kids ((: ily!
and tell me what i've done wrong. not as single hello, not a single look. tell me where we're going? tell me, really.
APPLES!
3:07 AM
Friday, August 10, 2007
and so i've been staring at the comp screen long enough till i figured maybe i should start doing something more productive (like writing a proper post in my blog :/)
okay you dont have to read cause its random stuff.
life's a mess lately, its something i cant hide.
okay, to start off with- studies. ok actually not so bad because i've been concentrating on my studies, a way to distract me from reality ):
and suddenly i got this inspiration to become a doctor. ok i dunno if its possible :/ glad today was damn productive. covered almost everything for all subjs except for lit (cause whatintheworld do you study for unseen prose??). but all my homework's like...untouched )):
next will be my social life. my social circle's getting smaller and smaller. and its always us, the aimless souls (me and raihan) and plus aqilah too sometimes.if we cannot figure out anything better to do we will just go home. like wow how fun is that? plus we only have complete outings like...once in a blue moon now. ok i refuse to comment any more on that. and i can hardly go out anymore now so yeah ):
i.need.to.lose.weight. )):
life's damn aimless (aimless souls?). okay, maybe besides the fact i MIGHT wanna be a doctor. other than that, life's so...empty. everything's the same. like there's no changes. tests and exams not counted thank you.
and what makes you think that im happy now? im bouncing back that question at you now. maybe im deceiving myself but i'd rather that im thick skinned for now. maybe you still cared. cause why do you sound so hurt when i said that. maybe you'll argue back on your part but baby, i'd rather not listen.why were you even vexed, if you didnt even bother. okay, im tired of this whole thing. tired of gettin my points across.
where did i go wrong, i lost a friend )':
and i dunno why everything's this way. if there's smth wrong, friends, do tell us. maybe we deserve to know after all if its us, or just you. maybe we're too blind, cause we only have two eyes, not four like you do. maybe we're not like you, where we are still trapped in our own lost world and you have ventured out into this dangerous world. tell me, is it because you dislike or hate us. im eager to know bout it.
and...i cant sleep now cause my mind's clogged with all these things mentioned above :/
monday- o level mt results will be out. even though im not taking it, im scared. cause in a matter of months, im gonne be there. and im not prepared. and there's no way anyone can judge how they will do for that paper. crap.
-Pink&Black .where'd you go, i miss you so <3.
APPLES!
8:24 AM
i have so much to blog. but im so tired.
(cause of the hourssssss of studying. cheychey!)
i hope tmr's a good day, i really do.
cause the days that pass by seem so meaningless
APPLES!
8:05 AM
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
im having this really sick feeling in me. where you have all the vomit thats like stuck in you but you just cant seem to vomit it out. and its making you all dizzy. like this NBSY*GDedbouwmvd837GUB#OVYQE#F&OG8. yea. i wanted to make an INTELLECTUAL post today but since im feeling like shit now, i shall do it some other day (:
and HANIZAH ISMAIL, i hate you. to think you'd trade our friendship for that freakin bitch. omg this is so fcuking annoying i swear >:(
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7:24 AM
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
today was...(okay i dunno how to describe it)
day was okay, but it wasnt draggy. QUITE happy for my amath test. LOL firstly cause i thought i got ONE/25 but i got the wrong paper. i got 11 instead. hahah i know, a fail. but still, its not an f9 this time (: and the other time i got 7! (improve?) everything else in sch was okay today. though student forum wasnt as fun cause there were only us, the sec3s. after school, going home early plan was cancelled. and i decided to go for csp ((:
"Alah help me choose. Should i go for csp lesson or go home and study :/ ?"
"Go for lessons. Go home = sleep. And you might get into trouble if you dont? Be good and go la k."
haha the trouble meant here was, getting kicked out of csp. LOL though that has happened a couple of times, where the MOE gave me a withdrawal letter but i so refuse to get out! hahah. like hello, its one of my stronger subjs i must be crazy if i were to ever drop it. ANYWAYS, wat that person said was really sweet (nice?). haha im so touched (ok, i sound like a loser :/ ) but really, thats the first person who like, ENCOURAGED me to go instead of not going. ((: and not just someone, a VERY SPECIAL someone ;p hahh and how the person knows me (((:
OMG im so out of topic, so anyway, csp was okay. i fell asleep a few times but haha the teacher was nice. but i still paid attention. and we did letter writing! its funnnnnn (: and yeahooo im so happy now i can get the format correctly and know how to write the last part correctly yayyy (see, someone's advice worth it huh)
and now im not gonna do any work cause i know im very tired and need rest. im happier these past 2 days i guess? (cause weekend was horridddddd) and im glad, im glad (:
-Pink&Black, rimotokufu ((:
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5:38 AM
Monday, August 06, 2007
today can be classified as a normal day for me.can say that i was mood swinging cause i can be very hyper and happy at one moment and pissed and emo at another. haha but i just have to blog bout this silly thing i did. so i saw M&M (eh new name chey!) at the 3rd level, opp block while i was in the toilet waiting for siti. so since im half blind, i took out my specs from my pocket and put it on. so yes, it was M&M and she was just lingering around at the corrider. so i turned to siti talk and walked around in toilet. then i went out and i looked at the 3rd level corridor and i saw M&M staringggggggg right in the toilet, (at us? HAHAH) and so i was so paiseh, i quickly took off my specs and stupidly sat beside the sink, not noticing that its wet like crap. soooooooo when i stood, dhanusha pointed out to me that my skirt is damnit wet.... omg so embarrassing :/ haha call me stupid. and so i walked all the way back to class, asking dhanu to walk behind and beside me to cover my skirt cause M&M was still there LOLL. haha okay im not making sense cause im crapping and yesssss its not that funny :/ but its amusing (:
okay day was damn tiring. but i learnt(trying) to appreciate everything around me now cause....HAHAH SECRET DONT TELL YOU ((:
okay im tired and i have emath to do shitttt. till then! ;D
-rimotokufu, rimotokufu, rimotokufu <3
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6:00 AM
Sunday, August 05, 2007
so now, me and amira are emo-ing and crying. okay, i know its childish of me to cry over this matter, no matter how hard i try not to. these tears that i've kept long enough really deserved to be let out.
and i dunno why inside im screaming i love you. its hard to believe this is happening.its hard to believe you never cared.its hard to believe that finally, a tsunami has swept across this land.but its hardest to believe that you were just a fragment of my imagination all along.
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9:00 AM
And Im So Over You (:
i didnt know why i just laughed it off when i saw that. it kinda amuses me. and im so surprised at how fast i've gotten over you. faster than i used to think i would. (back then, when i was still young, honey) everything happened, just in a blink of an eye its hard not to say that i didnt feel anything at first. wait till you fall honey, wait and see. and now i wonder if we're still considered as friends. maybe its me who have changed, maybe its you. but i dunno, maybe its just that we could no longer get along. but im glad. im glad cause i lose you but i found someone else worth treasuring. someone else who understands, someone else who is worth caring for, someone else who appreciates my existance. true, maybe you're not what im looking for. Rimotokufu; thanks for making my day love (: thanks for understanding, thanks for being there. its kinda weird cause we hardly know each other but im glad you're there, glad you made the effort. thankss ily ((:
and.so.i.have.nothing.to.say.here.
but i dunno why im crying now when i say it out loud that im so over you
thanks for making my day rimotokufu, ily (:
-surprising, of all people i could think of, it has to be you (:
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7:41 AM
and.so.i.have.nothing.to.say.here.
thanks for making my day rimotokufu, ily (:
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7:41 AM
Friday, August 03, 2007
im tired of all these freaking shit.
i hate times like these
when the word love doesnt exist anymore in this world
when all the truths turn into lies, when they dont matter anymore
when crying wont make you feel better cause it wont change this shit, and you're so used to it
when you're to be blamed for everything
when you cant stand it but you cant do anth bout it
when there's no more trust
when you want to escape from this world but you know that in reality, its impossible.
you can do it hanisah. be strong, stay strong. yes i can make it.
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7:48 AM
i hate it when people see me crying, when people see the weak side of me. cause it sucks trying to be strong. im so tired of everything sometimes this world just seems so fake. and yes, like raihan said, maybe i feel like Tom, Amanda and Laura. escape from reality (omg we just did on that during lit today!)I never thought I'd feel this way again,
Am I crazy?
Please save me.
Cause nothing else is left on my mind.
And I wish you knew everything,
So I won't have to say a thing.
& I want you everyday,
Am I crazy?
Please tell me.
Put your mind in doubt,
did you ever think about,
everything that we're missing.
I don't wanna feel,
the way that i do.
I just wanna be,
right here with you.
I just wanna say it straight from my heart,
Hello Girl.
I miss you.
Fear of rejection,
kept my love inside.
But time is running out,
so damn my foolish pride.
Told my heart I didn't want you,
But I lied.
(ripoff from lisa aka mona's blog (: ) hah kinda reflects this
shit im feeling. not for mona of course. LOLand so i wonder when you will come back
APPLES!
6:19 AM
Thursday, August 02, 2007
so today was a screwed/not so good day. im like the ONLY one fasting (cause raihan cheated me ): )
then i kept sleeping cause i slept at one yest? and half of the class is laughing at the way i sleep ):! hahah.anyways im so tired and i promised myself to sleep latest by 11 and to just study amath only, nothing more. mannnnnn life's so screwed ):
i'll never be broke enough for you (:
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6:00 AM
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
so i have FOUR ss essays to complete and look at the time now. WOW. and one question=four essays, so yea. amath was not as bad as i thought it was, the chap 4 and 5 i mean, just that i dont really fully concentrate. anyways! a miracle happened on 31/7/07. no, make that two. first, mr tan let em play music in class over the speakers. haha, ok rubbish. butttt another miracle! i got a freaking A for my chi even though i felt that its the least i studied for (HAHA!) but i realised that the last part, the mcq compre, i got EVERYTHING correct though i know very well that i just tikam-tikam for ALL the 5 questions. and that carries 15 marks. so...HAHAH. am i lucky or what. plus there were many mcq questions in the paper and i just wrote any nice number plus i got many correct ((: haha miracleee. thank godddd.
school today was damn crap i swear. i felt so tired the whole day, but i know its not cause i was fasting, not enough rest. but i just tried to sleep an hour ago, then wake up again to study and all butttttt i cant go to sleep :// after school was amusing. hahah.
"WHERE YOU GO...??" (with pathetic/cute look on face, inside CHEERS.) -quoted from makmona ((:im so tired now i dont know if i can stay awake! things to do:1.) ss essayS (four!)2.) study rest of amath! (test on fri!!)3.) mly kefahaman C and 4 practice papers :/4.) 2 el compos, 20 newspaper articles, 8 book reviews! ):5.) emath overdued hmwk :!6.) amatha overdued hmwk too ://7.) hist essay (OMG!)SEE! im so dead :/ and i have no freakin idea why im here. hahaha byeee (:
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7:22 AM
Church;.JPG)
